Customers I hate #873

Ok, I am in tech support and I get calls all the time about someone not being able to access the web.

I have my list of things that I hate, and I will list these occasionally with a rant.

This is "Customers I Hate # 873."


"Your crappy internet service is down again!"


Ah, yes! These people are dumbasses to the extreme sometimes. To blame the internet service for being down before it is actually diagnosed is just stupid.

Most of the time the call goes like this:

Me: Thank you for calling tech support, how can I help you?

Them: My internet don't work. This happens all the time. I was online last night, but now it won't work. What's wrong with your service? Why is it always not working?

Me: I'm sorry to hear about that. Let me take a look at your account and see if I can see what the problem is. (My empathy statement. Anyone who works in this field "knows" what this is.)

Them: I just can't believe that the service is down again. I am so frustrated right now, I should just cancel the service completely. How would you feel about that?

Me: I can transfer you to the Disconnect department if that's what you want.

Them: No, just fix my shit.

Me: Ok, let me have your account information.

Them: What do you mean? I already verified it 100 times already. I swear to God you people piss me off. ( They give a huge sigh and reluctantly verify the info I ask)

Me: Thank you for that. Let me see your account and check your cable modem out. ( I look up the info, and check to see if the modem is online, which it normally is)

Them: (huge sigh again. They want me to know how exasperated they are with me.)

Me: ok, it looks like the modem is online....

Them: No! the modem isn't online. I can't get on the web....

Me: As I was saying, the modem is online, but it doesn't look like your router is communicating with it. Can you unplug the power from the router for me for about 45 seconds?

Them: No! I've already done all the troubleshooting and your service is down. I'm not going to do any more troubleshooting.

Me: ok then. If you refuse to troubleshoot, then we have nothing more to talk about. Thank you for calling.....

Them: Wait! ok, I'll unplug it. (they go to unplug, and after the set amount of time, they plug it back in) I still can't get online.

Me: You have to give the router a second to synch up. Try it now.

Them: Oh, I'm online. Thank you so much.

Me: Thank you for calling tech support.


Sigh. I get about 15 calls just like this every day. They always want to say they've done it all and it turns out that most of the time, these dumbasses are just completely wrong, which is why I can't stand them.

If they had already done the troubleshooting, they would not have had to call me, which leads me to the very first tip of the day:

"Listen to what I say and do what I ask you to do. You called me for help, I didn't call you"

OK, this ends my rant for now. Feel free to comment :)

Welcome

So you think this is a catchy title for a blog?

Good, because it is, but it is also very true. I work in the tech support industry and I take calls from assholes all day long. Granted, not all customers really are assholes, but most of them are.

I will be regaling everyone with tales from calls I take personally, and experiences I have with customers.

But it doesn't stop there! I'll be attacking service workers also, because let's face it....we're assholes as well.

Hopefully this blog will go to entertain and educate. I truly hope you enjoy it :)